Corridor clots

You're in a big hurry. You're late enough for class as it is, and then you come across what I refer to as a "corridor clot".

Now, some of you may be intelligent enough to guess what a "corridor clot" is. If you aren't, I'll explain now. A corridor clot is basically a group of people, clumped together, and moving slowly down a corridor. It can be made up of as few as three people, or can be a mass of 10. Occasionally, a "corridoriac arrest" occurs, when a clot finds its way to a "stick site", ie where they stop. This can be at school photos, doors, but mostly radiators.

There's nothing wrong with socialising, but why do groups of people INSIST on blocking the entire width of the corridor, and moving slower than a snail with a 75kg backpack and a zimmer-frame! Do they not realise they are annoying large sections of the school community? The worst thing is when the move over to allow people from the other direction through, they don't have the intelligence to stay over and allow people behind past. They just merge back to the entire width of the corridor! If you say "excuse me", they look at you as if you had a rotting cat carcass on your forehead, and if you burst through, they call you things like "wanker", "tosser", or something suitably mundane, but offensive never-the-less". ARRRRGGGHHH!!!!

And a corridoriac arrest? They really piss me off. There is a T-Junction in our school. At lunchtime at this point, traffic merges from the bottom and left side of the T to go right to the refectory to have lunch. However, there is a rather convenient radiator located right at the end of the left side of the T. By this point, a corridoriac arrest occurs, when a clot lodges itself. It's truly a total mash there, and pedestrian flow halts.

For years, I've wanted to patent a device called "The corridor clot canabalizer". This device is handheld, similar in shape to a snowplough, but on each of the faces, a fast, large, powerful circular saw resides. Anyone who gets on my way gets diced. However, I've had no luck, and anyone who is willing to get me a patent for this device is perfectly welcome.

Another incredibly irritating thing is people who just STOP in the corridor, causing you to fly into the back of them. Don't these people realise they'll eventually kill someone someday? Maybe I should walk with a huge spike pointing outwards from my chest to spear anyone who does this. The world would truly be a better place.

Now, onto different matters. You may notice a slight change in title, from "miffed child", to "miffed children". That is because some like-minded cynical persons such as myself will be joining the blog. We will welcome them in time.

You may also notice some differences to the look. It's a slow process, but the blog will eventually change to make it rather unique indeed. I have to thank Alistair Lyons for his artwork contribution. (If you look for Alistair Lyons, you'll find out he won a Blue Peter art competition. Pop his name into Google and have a peek)

Moggy's tip of the day:
"Never, EVER eat custard cooked in any house build on the site of an old tractor factory, as you'll begin to receive messages from beyond the realm of cardboard toys, if you take my meaning."

"Cardboard Toys" is a realm? Wow.

Signing off,
Andrew