/* ------------Peek-a-boo------------- */

How the average person is doused in pain, and set alight by grinding a blunt fork up and down your elbow. Life is miserable, so lets take it out on a blog.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

It's Christmas time

For my first entry on this blog, I'm going to talk about Christmas. The true meaning of Christmas. Jesus. What I don't understand about Jesus is where God's sacrifice is. We're told in the Bible that God gave his only son. But where is Jesus now? In heaven. With God presumably. So what's the problem? And, if God is so powerful, why does he have to go through the time consuming, frankly dodgy process of Jesus? Why doesn't he just forgive all sin without any of the show boating? I'm thinking that Jesus probably brought up this point when God suggested the whole thing to him:
25th March 0 A.D.
God: "Hi son. What've you got there?"
J.C. : "Oh, it's your book. Did you really write this?"
God: "Well, I was the inspiration."
J.C. : "Well, it's a little confusing. Who wrote it for you?"
God: "I dunno, some guy I guess. Listen son, I've been thinking"
J.C. : "Oh?"
God: "Yeah, about the whole sin thing."
J.C. : "Not again. Remember the last time you thought about the whole sin thing? Poor old Moses' hands were bleeding with the effort of building that bloody ark you told him to. I heard him talking to Adam about it the other day. Still never got an apology from you I hear."
God: "Look, I'm very busy. I have a universe to run you know. I haven't got time to go round apologising the every Tom, Dick or Harry I've pissed off over the past eternity. Anyway, I have an idea that will solve all the world's problems."
J.C. : "Oh, you mean like disease, famine, poverty, war, that sort of thing?"
God: "No, no, no, no, no. Sin, idiot boy. Actually, it's an idea I've had for some time. I'm going to send my only begotten son down to Earth to be horribly and excruciatingly painfully murdered and then all sin will be removed from humanity."
J.C. : "Your only begotten so- hey! That's me!"
God: "I know! Isn't it exciting!?"
J.C. : "Not really. You're all powerful. Why don't you just forgive all sin now? Forget about hideous, gruesome deaths and just forgive man."
God: "I wanna do it this way."
J.C. : "Well, this way sounds pretty crappy, Dad."
God: "Listen, son, it's all written down in my book. I thought you read it."
J.C. : "I got kinda lost."
God: "It doesn't matter now. get ready. Gabriel's going today to tell some virgin doll from Nazareth that she's going to give birth to you."
J.C. : "A virgin from Nazareth?"
God: "That's what I said, but Gabriel reckons he's found one. There are ways to tell."
J.C. : "Like what?"
God: "Nothing you need to know about. Hurry up, you have to go down with the Holy Spirit to come upon this woman. Now that we're all agreed on a plan."
J.C. : "I don't agree with it."
God: "Well then we'll just have to agree to disagree. Get ready."

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

When did Moses ever build an ark?

3:27 pm

 

Post a Comment

 
<%radio.macros.staticSiteStatsImage ()%>