"Aah, put it over there somewhere..."

A while ago there was a campaign here on the North Coast of Northern Ireland to prevent a proposed wind farm from being built a couple of miles off the coast. The whole thing ran under the slogan "Not In My Back Yard" or NIMBY. The thing is though, when you say 'Not in my back yard', what you're really saying is 'Put in in someone else's yard'. The same people who objected to the wind farm on the grounds that it "would spoil the natural beauty of our coastline" are probably the tree-hugging hippy type who demand greater use of renewable energy sources and a cut down on the amount of non-renewable fossil fuels burnt, "as long as it doesn't put me out please." They want clean, efficient, eco-friendly, not to mention cheap energy but don't want to have to suffer for it in any way.

"What's that you've got there?"
"Oh this? It's a wind turbine."
"Is it really?" [looks up] "Pretty big isn't it?"
"Yeah something like 130 feet."
"Wow. Nice. What're you doing with it?"
"I thought I'd go about 3 miles out to sea here and plonk it down there with about 60 others and have a kind of wind farm. It will provide 150 megawatts of clean, renewable energy and can help to go some way to lessening the effects fossil fuels are having on our environment. Britain has an obligation nowadays to reduce carbon emissions anyway so this is a start."
"Here?"
"Sorry?"
"You're putting it here?"
"Uh huh."
"No no. Won't happen."
"Why not?"
"Because it will spoil the natural beauty of this world famous coastline. Listen mate, I'm all for helping the environment - hug a tree and all that - but there is no way on God's Earth you are putting those turbines on our coast."
"They're not on the coast as such. They'll be so far out they won't look 160 feet tall."
"I don't care. I'm going to go organise a meeting to stop this. I'm not having that in my back yard."
"Well, what the hell am I going to do with this thing!?"
"Aah, put it over there somewhere where I can't see it."

Of course, I say 60 turbines about 130 feet in height but it all depends on where you get your information from. Coleraine Borough Council reckons it'll be more like 85 turbines 450 feet in height and the BBC website gives two different accounts. But anyway, one of the stupidest arguments the aforementioned Coleraine Borough Council (CBC) gives on its website (http://www.colerainebc.gov.uk/stopthewindfarm/) is that

"Little is known about the ability of birds to avoid wind turbines - there is concern about the lack of in-depth information on the effects of this wind farm on our birdlife."

Little is known about the ability of birds to avoid wind turbines. Well, it's about 450 feet high according to you. I think they might notice it. And if wind farms kill all the birds then you can't have any anywhere. At all. Ah, but as long as it kills someone else's birds that's all right then.
And another thing. According to CBC there has been up to 40% fewer tourists to Denmark due specifically to offshore wind farms. But there has never been a study indicating a reduction in tourist numbers in Denmark. In fact, from 1980 - 2000 - the period of most wind energy expansion in Denmark - tourism increased by 80%.

"There. That's another reason you can't put it up there."
"What is?"
"It'll kill birds."
[sighs] "Really."
"Oh yes."
"More than are killed on roads, by cats, by people?"
"Yeah probably."
"So you're saying that when I build this wind farm all the birds on the North Coast are going to flock to it and smash themselves up against the blades of the turbines?"
"They won't hit the blades, the blades will hit them."
"And why can't they avoid them in the same way that they avoid cars and the like?"
"Listen you. When blades spin in a circular motion like that it confuses birds and they aren't able to avoid them. It's all to do with how their brains work."
"And you've studied bird brains have you?"
"Oh yes. I have a PhD from Oxford in it."
"In what?"
"Uhm, Ornithological Cortex Studies."
"Right. So that's all scientific fact then is it?"
"Oh yes."
"Actually no it isn't. That was a rhetorical question."
"Well if it isn't it should be. I have a PhD y'know."
"Ah shut up."